


Don't play (board) games with me

by Changdeol



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:08:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23023756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Changdeol/pseuds/Changdeol
Summary: Quite frankly, nothing is going how Sehun thought that it would. His university routine was supposed to be as predictable and comfortable as the life he’s led until now. Instead, he’s drowning in the sea of coursework and his long-term boyfriend Jongin seems to be slowly drifting away from him. On top of everything, one extremely attractive (and adorably geeky) Hall rep Junmyeon won’t leave Sehun’s mind. Not only does he have abs, but worse… he wants to play board games with Sehun.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun
Comments: 17
Kudos: 149
Collections: Âme sœur: SeHo Fic Fest Round 1





	Don't play (board) games with me

**Author's Note:**

> Based on prompt 37.
> 
> Thank you to the mods for taking up the challenge of creating another SeJun fic fest. Thank you to the prompter for suggesting this – I love this premise. I ended up changing it slightly but I hope it’s still to your liking. Thank you to all the readers, please leave comments and kudos if you liked the story, I love feedback.

‘I’m fine. The room is fine,’ Sehun says out loud into the void, a self-encouragement of sorts.

Said room _is_ a little small but cosy nonetheless, Sehun thinks as he finally has a chance to properly look around the place. He’s on the second floor, his window facing the park. It’s going to be quiet when he needs his space, so he’s happy about that. He reckons that he should unpack but he’s actually only brought one suitcase full of clothes, along with a set of beddings and towels. Even though his parents drove him all the way to his new university, so it’s not like there wasn’t enough space in the boot.

While they had both applied for the same Hall of Residence as soon as they secured acceptance letters from their respective faculties, Jongin ended up assigned to Cripps and Sehun to his original choice, Florence Boot. There is a bit of a walk between the two, from what Sehun can see, but it’s not a situation that cannot be easily solved. Plus, perhaps the distance will make their hearts grow fonder and all that. After all, they have practically lived in each other’s pockets since forever.

Sehun sits down on the bare bed, thinking to call Jongin. He’s pretty sure that his boyfriend must have already arrived – his parents in tow, similarly to Sehun. The last text they exchanged was over two hours ago when they were both on the road and Jongin’s car was a little behind them, but now Sehun’s family is gone and it’s time to find some normalcy in this new reality.

He’s pulled up his whatsup but before he has a chance to react, there is a knock on his door. Quickly making sure he looks presentable, he doesn’t hesitate to open. Heaven knows that he needs some human interaction right now, lest he gets completely overwhelmed.

The boy in front of him can’t be much older than him – if at all. He’s shorter, though, a big smile on his face and round cheeks practically glowing, which has to be some kind of light trick since the lamps on the corridor are not very good. They stare at each other for a short moment and Sehun momentarily berates himself for freezing with his hand still on the handle, but he can’t help but feel stunned.

The boy is painfully attractive, in the innocent kind of way, and Sehun is known to be horribly awkward around attractive people. The only reason why he got together with Jongin in the first place is because they’d been friends since kindergarten. Otherwise he’d have probably never even opened his mouth in the other boy’s direction.

‘Hi.’ Sehun clears his throat, trying to regain his footing. Socialising is not his forte either, but he does want to make friends here. These are supposed to be your best years, _blah blah blah_ , and looking at the person in front of him, Sehun might have just realised why.

The boy’s smile widens even more.

‘Hi. Hope I’m not interrupting anything, I’ll just be a moment. I’m Junmyeon Kim, I’m one of the reps for this Hall, in charge of floors two and three. And you’re…’ Only then does Sehun realise that there are a few wrinkled pages in the other’s hand. ‘Sehun, right?’

‘Sehun Oh,’ Sehun automatically adds, used to people mispronouncing his name, though the boy in front of him seems to have no problem with that. Ethnic Korean, the fresher immediately decides since the rep’s accent sounds decisively posh. Too posh not to be London native.

‘Sehun Oh, I’ll remember that,’ Junmyeon laughs good-naturedly and Sehun can only hope his face isn’t as red as hot it feels at the moment. ‘I just wanted to introduce myself. I live at the end of this corridor, by the way – room 202 – so if there’s ever any problem, if you want to talk… Or if you’re overwhelmed with work… Or, I don’t know, if there’s anything you need-‘

‘I get it. Cheers,’ Sehun gently interrupts the other’s rumbling, still staring – this time with a steadily growing smile on his face. He can’t help but feel simultaneously charmed and amused by Junmyeon’s energy. 

The rep chuckles, scratching his neck in a nervous gesture and _oh my god_ , Sehun realises, _Junmyeon is as dorky as he is hot_.

‘Right, sorry.’ Junmyeon laughs again. ‘So anyway, I mean it. I know a lot about the university so if you don’t feel like talking to the staff, I can definitely help you. Just say a word.’

‘That’s kind of you, thank you.’

‘Anytime.’ They stare at each other in silence for a moment before Sehun says,

‘Can I get your number?’

‘Huh?’ Junmyeon frowns, seemingly taken by surprise. Sehun smiles wider, gesturing at the list.

‘You know, if I ever want to talk?’

‘Oh! Yes, of course! I’m so sorry, I’m new to this. Now I don’t even remember if I’ve given it to all the other students on the floor, I hope I have? I’m nervous. You’re the first one to explicitly ask,’ Junmyeon mumbles, looking slightly disconcerted.

‘Are you an undergrad or…?’ Sehun asks, hoping to overcome the awkwardness as they exchange their details.

Sehun has a boyfriend and he’s acutely aware of it. It’s not like it’s his first time to find somebody attractive but he’s not going to act on this pull, just like he’s never done before. There is also no ulterior motive to his question, other than perhaps befriending Junmyeon because he looks like a person that would be fun to be around, at least in Sehun’s opinion.

But even so, Sehun feels inexplicable, immediate guilt. He vows to tell Jongin about Junmyeon as soon as they see each other.

‘I graduated in July, actually, and now I’m doing Master’s though I’ll most probably stay for the long ride. You know, PhD and all that. My Master’s is part of this big project and they want me to help develop it, so they hooked me up with some small stipend and this job so I can have free accommodation and- And you don’t care and I’m being embarrassing,’ Junmyeon cuts himself short, appearing mortified at his own word vomit.

‘No! Not at all!’ Sehun immediately denies. He is smiling but his smile is a fond one. ‘I mean, I did ask.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ Junmyeon chuckles awkwardly. ‘It’s probably because you’re the first person to actually have any questions at all. The other five students I’ve approached before you couldn’t close their door on me fast enough.’

‘Well, I’m new so I need all the friends I can get…’ Sehun trails away, his mind going back to the problem at hand.

‘You’ll meet everyone in no time, I can guarantee that. It’s only the first day.’

Sehun’s phone starts ringing then and it’s Jongin. Sehun looks at Junmyeon apologetically.

‘I have to take it. It’s my boyfriend, so...’

Honesty is the best policy, is what Sehun has told himself over and over again since he first came out to his parents at sixteen. Even though he’s thankfully never had to go through any traumatic experiences on the account of his sexuality, it’s still nerve-wrecking, coming out to new people because you worry that first time might come.

‘But I will definitely see you around. I’d love to hang out… if you want,’ Sehun adds hastily, unsure if his confession hasn’t suddenly changed Junmyeon’s attitude towards him.

‘Yes, please,’ Junmyeon is eager enough. ‘Most of my friends are gone too, so… Anytime. And sorry again for taking up so much of your time and this constant rumbling. Unfortunately, this is one hundred percent me. Doesn’t get any better.’

Sehun laughs at the comment, nodding.

‘See you later,’ he waves as he closes the door. Junmyeon sends him one last smile before moving on to welcome another newcomer.

‘Hey.’ Sehun finally takes the call.

‘Hey, where are you?’ Jongin’s voice seems animated. Sehun smiles.

‘Still in Boot, I was just about to call you. A Hall rep came by and we ended up talking for a bit.’ Sehun cringes at the haste explanation which sounds like a completely unnecessary excuse but Jongin doesn’t seem to care.

‘Brilliant,’ his boyfriend responds but he seems positively distracted by the events happening around him. ‘There are some people here, we just met, but they want me to join them for lunch and the Freshers’ Fair. How’s that sound? Unless you’re still held up?’

‘Nah, I can unpack later. I could use a bite.’

‘Great. Do you know where- Yeah, alright mate! See you in a bit.’ Jongin is momentarily distracted by somebody next to him. ‘I’m sorry, it’s just that they’ll go ahead and I’ll wait for you so we can join them together? Do you know where Granger building is? My Hall is right next to it. We’ll go down to Portland to get lunch.’

‘Yeah, give me ten minutes. It should be a short walk.’

‘Okay, I’ll just wait outside.’ Jongin hangs up without a good bye but Sehun doesn’t react. He can’t even say that he minds. They’re relationship is beyond comfortable. There’s nothing that Sehun hasn’t seen Jongin do and vice versa. They know each other inside out so there is no need for any grand romantic gestures, let alone _thank yous_ and _goodbyes_. It’s just… normal between them.

He grabs his phone, wallet and a denim jacket, just in case – the weather looks unpredictable. The moment he leaves the room, he almost collides with none other than Junmyeon.

‘Oh my god, I’m so sorry.’ Junmyeon’s eyes go wide as he scrambles to apologise.

‘Don’t be. I wasn’t looking,’ Sehun replies easily.

‘Leaving so soon?’

‘Yeah… Oh, actually. Perhaps you could help me. I need to go to Granger building.’

‘Oh, my first task.’ Junmyeon grins in mock excitement and Sehun laughs, finding the other positively charming. ‘It’s super easy to get there. Once you’ve exited the Hall, just go straight up the hill. You’ll have the main library on the left and Granger is just behind it. It’s a five minute walk, no more.’

‘Thanks again. See you.’

Jongin is there, scrolling through his messages as Sehun arrives. They smile at each other and Sehun reaches for the other’s hand. They’re not really affectionate in public – plus, they’ve just seen each other in the morning.

‘How’s your room?’ Jongin immediately asks. His boyfriend shrugs.

‘Small but no noisy neighbours so far. Yours?’

‘Same. I’m on the first floor,’ Jongin responds without missing a beat.

They enter the crowded lunch room in the main students’ building. They pick up their food from the counter and then Jongin leads him towards some people he already recognises.

‘Chanyeol, Yixing, Jongdae, Wendy and…? Sorry, we haven’t met,’ Jongin smiles at the last person at the table.

‘I’m Seulgi. Nice to meet you both.’

‘Right. This is my boyfriend, Sehun,’ Jongin introduces them as they take the last available seats.

‘Hi,’ is all Sehun offers but it’s enough for the guy named Chanyeol to wrinkle his nose in mock offence.

‘Uh, another Scouser.’ Sehun laughs at the accusation.

‘My accent is not _that_ bad,’ he denies but even he knows it’s thick.

‘What Chanyeol’s _really_ salty about is Liverpool FC always being three leagues above the Minstermen.’ His friend Yixing supplies with a knowing smile.

‘Hey!’

‘Are you all freshers?’ Sehun asks, a little confused at the gathering.

‘Nah, Chanyeol and I are Hall reps for Cripps,’ Yixing replies. ‘And doing Master’s in music production.’

‘Right. Seulgi and I know each other from some volunteering activities last year…’ Chanyeol says before looking at Jongdae and grinning. ‘And Jongdae is like our mascot.’ Said boy scowls.

‘Sod off, Park. See if I ever help you in your little projects again.’

‘He’s just joking,’ Seulgi smiles at their bickering. ‘We’ve both in year 2 and occasionally making fools out of ourselves by providing vocals for whatever these two are working on. Wendy is new, though.’

‘First year, chemical engineering,’ the girl raises her hand, sounding resigned though there is a playful glint in her eyes.

‘Dude, same. Nice!’ Jongin doesn’t hesitate to high five the new friend.

‘What about you?’ Chanyeol redirects the question back to Sehun. He shrugs.

‘Apparently the only thing I’m decent at is drawing so it was either art or architecture. My parents are paying for this so…’ He makes a face at them and they all chuckle.

‘Architecture sounds tough to me,’ Seulgi comments and Sehun sends her a tight smile.

‘And to me as well.’

‘So what are you like, childhood sweethearts?’ Chanyeol points to Sehun and Jongin’s hands, absent-mindedly locked together on the table. The two look at each other briefly before they burst out laughing.

‘Something like that,’ Jongin responds, still amused.

It’s funny to Sehun as well. They’ve been together for so long, he doesn’t even remember clearly who courted who or what actually happened. One moment they were lazily lounging in Jongin’s room doing nothing, another Jongin asked him if he thought that they’d be good together. Jongin had always been Sehun’s best friend and he did think that Jongin was handsome, funny and comfortable to be around. They quite naturally transitioned into a relationship, not really losing anything out of their friendship but never really becoming one of those incredibly mushy couples, either.

There are kisses, sex and hand holding. Just no explicit need to feel jealous of one another or profess their affections all the time.

‘Anyway, dig in and let’s check out the Freshers’ Fair. The Societies always give out free pizza and you lot can sign up for some activities if you’d like.’ Jongdae cuts the discussion short, mouth full of pasta. They all silently concede.

Their group eventually disperses, each person looking for somebody or something else in the big Sports’ Centre temporarily turned into an exhibition hall. In the end, it’s only Jongin and Sehun left, leisurely walking around the stalls but not really approaching anyone.

‘The map at the door said the Theatre Soc should be somewhere around here.’ Jongin has mentioned that he would join. ‘Wanna walk together?’

‘I think I’m good,’ Sehun excuses himself, not feeling particularly guilty about this one.

He knows exactly that in his boyfriend’s case it could easily turn into a long and intense discussion of theatre and ballet, and – if the other members of that club are even half as passionate – Sehun will be stuck listening to it forever. While Jongin has settled for a practical degree, he has no intention of abandoning his artistic hobbies.

‘I’ll keep walking and see if anything catches my fancy. Text me once you’re done over there.’

‘Sure thing,’ Jongin squeezes Sehun’s hand one more time and they separate.

There’s nothing that Sehun is particularly fond of doing, and at his age that should probably feel a little alarming. There are multiple Societies whose representatives hand out leaflets and cookies, stopping him here and there to explain what it is that they do but Sehun just nods, not particularly interested. He eventually notices Yixing standing at one of the stalls, engaged in a conversation.

‘Hey.’ Sehun approaches, interrupting the conversation. Yixing smiles at his arrival but who really takes Sehun by surprise is the other party.

‘Hey again.’ Junmyeon Kim’s smile is blinding.

‘You two know each other?’ Yixing asks, looking between them.

‘Junmyeon’s a rep on my floor. We met just before lunch,’ the younger explains, feeling inexplicably happy at seeing the Master’s student again so soon.

‘Oh, you’re in Florence Boot? I didn’t catch that.’ Yixing nods in understanding. ‘I didn’t connect the dots.’ He then sends Junmyeon a more pointed look, the meaning of which Sehun is not privy to. ‘Actually, I guess that it was you that Junmyeon was just talking about-‘

‘I was just saying that you were nice enough to actually talk to me this morning and that you might wanna join our Society,’ Junmyeon talks over whatever it was that Yixing was trying to say, gently shoving his friend.

Sehun frowns, not quite following the double meaning of the exchange between the two.

‘Uhm, what is this Society anyway?’

‘Well, it is exactly what you’d think it’d be.’ Yixing remarks in amusement, pointing to the sparse decorations in their booth. ‘We play board games.’

Sehun falls silent, trying to digest the new development. He sees Junmyeon slightly averting his gaze, as if embarrassed. Since the last thing that Sehun wants Junmyeon to think is that he has to feel ashamed of his hobbies, the younger quickly smiles.

‘You mean like, Dungeons and Dragons?’ He tries to remember any game he’s ever engaged in but nothing comes to mind. He’s not even sure if what he just said makes any sense in the context.

‘Well… No. They have their own Society, they have too many members,’ Junmyeon smiles sheepishly. ‘But we play everything else! The popular ones like Monopoly and Clue, but also some other ones most people have probably never heard of.’

‘It’s a lot of fun,’ Yixing adds, unbothered. Unlike Junmyeon, he’s pretty chill about the possibility of being considered a dork.

‘Yo, dudes,’ Chanyeol appears right then, screaming at them jovially. ‘Oh, Sehun. You’re here too. You gonna play board games with them?’

‘Yeah, I guess I am,’ slips out of Sehun’s lips before he can actually rethink his commitment. He doesn’t really know anything about this gathering but he’s still staring at Junmyeon and the moment the other boy’s eyes positively light up, Sehun knows that there is no way he can back out now.

‘That’s great! There’s not that many of us but it’s really fun. Helps you relax, you know?’

‘Relax, my arse,’ Yixing chuckles. ‘You and Irene never let anyone relax. You two are the most competitive people I know.’

‘Not… _always_ ,’ Junmyeon uselessly insists but his ears are red now. Sehun laughs.

‘Bring it on,’ he just says, grinning and it puts Junmyeon at ease for he mirrors the expression.

In the next week, Sehun slowly becomes accustomed to the new life away from home. Freshers’ Week is all about parties and getting to know others, mostly one’s Hall neighbours and Society members. He meets a few more people, but he ends up sticking mostly to the small group he met on the first day. There is one, quickly becoming permanent addition to the group – Baekhyun Byun, who lives directly one floor above Sehun and has already managed to flood the latter’s en suite bathroom twice. Amidst their argument they somehow manage to become friends, especially once they realise that they will be doing the same course. Baekhyun’s sense of humour immediately catches on with Chanyeol and Jongdae too, and so he seamlessly blends in with them though frankly, he seems popular with anyone that he meets.

Sehun sees Junmyeon three more times that week, once at dinner and twice more on campus.

Jongin is more sociable out of the two of them and he succeeds in talking Sehun into attending two parties outside but despite good company, it’s really not Sehun’s scene. When Jongin once again asks him to join a party – this time more intimate, organised by the Theatre Society he just joined – Sehun begs off.

‘I wanted to introduce you to Kyungsoo,’ Jongin insists but Sehun can only chuckle at the whiney tone he can hear on the phone. Kyungsoo, that name rings a bell. His boyfriend’s already mentioned it once or twice that week.

‘That’s your… spiritual guide, isn’t he?’ Sehun teases, knowing full well there’s no such thing.

‘Mentor, my dear Sehun, mentor. They’ve assigned one senior to each new person, not that I haven’t told you three time already. He’s great, very talented. You should have seen his improv at the welcome showcase-’

‘I’m sure he is. Just… let’s just meet for lunch later, shall we? I’d love to meet him but… You know me. I’ve had enough people for the week.’

There’s silence on the other side before Jongin says,

‘I don’t have to go, you know. I can come over and we can just chill for tonight.’

‘What..? No!’ Sehun laughs harder. ‘Just go and have fun with your new friends, whom I’m sure I’ll have plenty of opportunities to meet later. This is important to you so just go and don’t worry about me. When it’s time for your year-end performance and all that, I’ll be in the first row, I promise. But if it’s just dudes drinking beer and discussing theatre the whole evening, I’m sure you’ll be fine without me.’

Jongin laughs.

‘Yeah, alright. I’ll see you at lunch tomorrow then, yeah?’

‘Assuming you can even get up before noon-‘

‘Yeah, you’re right. I’ll text you about that. But anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow somehow. I…love you,’ he adds after a second of apparent hesitation. Apparent to Sehun, anyway.

Sehun blinks at the words he hasn’t heard in a long time.

‘Where did _that_ come from?’ He teases again and Jongin huffs.

‘What? I can’t tell my boyfriend that I love him?’

‘No, I mean… We never say stuff like that?’

‘Maybe we should?’

‘…Alright? But we’ve never been like those lovey-dovey couples, at last that’s how I see it.’

‘Well, I guess there’s nothing wrong with… reminding ourselves every once in a while.’

‘We have to remind ourselves that we are in a relationship?’ Sehun chuckles and this time Jongin seconds his mirth, somewhat embarrassed. ‘Yeah, I guess. Me too. I love you. See you tomorrow.’

‘Bye.’

Sehun sighs, still chuckling at Jongin’s silliness. Where did that come from?

He continues pondering the question as he grabs his sweater and key card, directing himself to the canteen _slash_ common room in their Hall. Breakfast and dinner are usually served in their respective Halls, while lunch can be eaten in any of the campus food courts, students having up to six pounds credit topped up each day for that purpose. 

When Sehun enters the canteen, there’s hardly anyone there – not that he expected otherwise. It is Saturday night, the last one in many weeks that students will not have any coursework hanging over their heads. He’s not surprised most decided to grab the opportunity to go out.

He chooses the potato stew off the counter and sits at one of the long tables, pulling up his cell phone for entertainment but his mind is still on Jongin. Is there a reason why he said what he said or was he just being silly? Nothing much has changed between them in the last week despite the location shift. Perhaps the constant of their relationship should in fact surprise Sehun. He himself is experiencing a mild, but at this point undeniable attraction towards one Junmyeon Kim which doesn’t disappear no matter how much Sehun is trying to reason it out.

Perhaps Jongin thinks Sehun might stray.

Perhaps Jongin himself fears that he’ll stray.

Or perhaps it is nothing at all, Sehun shrugs. What would he do if Jongin were to cheat on him-

‘Hey.’ Sehun’s head shoots up at the greeting, momentarily taken out of his reverie. Junmyeon has a small smile on his face, his eyes round. Every time Sehun sees the older, his eyes are so sparkly that he is now convinced that it must be a trick of light. ‘Potato stew?’

‘Huh? Oh yeah.’

‘Me too. The sausage didn’t look too appetizing.’ Junmyeon takes a seat next to him. Sehun can’t help but notice that despite all the layers he is bundled up in, the senior looks tiny next to him. Their shoulders brush as Junmyeon makes himself comfortable on the long bench. ‘What are you doing here? It’s Saturday night.’

‘I could ask you the same thing,’ Sehun replies and Junmyeon smiles a little, shaking his head.

‘It’s not for me. I like going to the pub every once in a while, talk to people but I’m not big on clubbing. I guess you could say that I’m more of a homebody.’ He shrugs.

‘No,’ Sehun feigns a surprised gasp and Junmyeon giggles at his retort.

‘I know, I must seem totally boring to you. Palaeontology, board games, Netlifx on a Saturday night…’

‘You study palaeontology?’

‘You didn’t know?’

‘I guess not. Wow.’ Junmyeon laughs again. ‘You’re not boring. In case you don’t remember, I’m doing architecture, I just joined your board game Soc and I’m also here, and like you also contemplating what to do with my evening.’

‘Yeah, why are you here again? I didn’t catch that,’ Junmyeon teases.

‘Well, I decided that Jongin shouldn’t be punished for having a boyfriend with minimal social skills so I told him to go enjoy himself. He’s joined the campus theatre group, they’re having a social tonight.’

‘Ah.’

Junmyeon has met Jongin on two occasions and Sehun has made sure that Jongin knew exactly who Junmyeon is. He doesn’t want any misunderstandings, although he feels that he’s the only one blowing his situation out of proportion. Junmyeon is just a kind (okay, and hot) rep who sometimes hangs out with them and Jongin has never really been the jealous type.

But maybe it’s just Sehun’s own way of keeping himself in check, in case he ever gets too lost in Junmyeon’s company.

Suddenly Jongin’s _I love you_ starts making sense.

‘Do you wanna watch TV with me?’ Junmyeon’s suggestion takes him by surprise. ‘I was gonna work on my report but I’m feeling lazy.’

‘Yeah, sure. Why not,’ Sehun replies before he can talk himself out of it. So much for his self-discipline. Well, he was planning to watch a movie anyway… ‘Should we watch a horror film? Unless you’re not into them.’

‘No! I like a good one.’

‘Same, just not the gore ones. It’s better to watch them with someone else, though. Less scary.’ Junmyeon’s eyes crinkle at the words.

‘I feel the same.’

They look at each other for a moment before Junmyeon averts his eyes, clearing his throat loudly.

‘Okay, so…’

‘Right.’ Sehun stands up, having finished his meal. Junmyeon follows. ‘I have some snacks in my room, I’ll grab them and be right there.’

They part on top of the staircase, each entering their own rooms. Sehun changes into a more comfortable hoodie and then picks up fresh a pair of socks as well, paranoid about the state of their cleanness. _It’s nothing_ , he tells himself as he finds the pack of crisps he bought the other day in the bottom drawer. It’s just a horror movie and junk food in Junmyeon’s room. _No big deal_.

Which is exactly why he decides to text Jongin about it. He’s feeling way too guilty about it, when at home he wouldn’t even think twice to go out with any of their sixth form friends without first informing his boyfriend about it.

 _I guess I won’t be alone after all lol_ , he types, hoping the last part makes it more casual in the _couldn’t care less_ way _. Junmyeon invited me to watch a horror movie together._

The reply comes a few moments later.

 _Sounds good! I’m also sort of watching Netflix at Kyungsoo’s, passing the time before everyone’s ready to go out_.

Okay, Sehun smiles to himself before sending a thumbs up and leaving the conversation at that. Jongin’s spending time with his friends and it’s not a big deal. Sehun can do the same.

Now satisfied, he grabs the snacks, his key card and phone, and walks up to Junmyeon’s room. When he knocks, there’s a muffled _come on in_ and so he does. Big mistake.

Junmyeon is standing with his back to the door – his very smooth, naked back – with his head somewhat tangled in the sweatshirt and t-shirt Sehun saw him in earlier. He’s struggling, clearly unable to pull it neither up nor down.

‘Wait, let me help you,’ Sehun drops his things onto the other’s desk and approaches. Junmyeon turns around, sighing miserably somewhere inside all those layers. Another big mistake.

Sehun’s mouth dries up at the sight of an equally naked torso, abs faint but defined enough for Sehun to inevitably zero in on them. Realising he’s taken what must have probably been an extremely awkward pause, he hastily steps forward, gently pulling the upper garment until they finally get rid of it in joint effort. Junmyeon’s face is all read – be it in exertion or embarrassment, Sehun doesn’t know – and he turns around to the chest of drawers in order to pull out another soft looking t shirt, quickly putting it on.

Sehun steps away, pretending to busy himself with opening the pack of crisps and looking at Netflix, already pulled up on Junmyeon’s laptop.

‘I’m sorry about this.’ Sehun looks up from his seat. Junmyeon takes a stand behind the chair.

‘Huh? No need to be sorry.’

‘I just… I feel like I’m not doing a very good job at this.’

‘At undressing yourself?’ Junmyeon laughs at the teasing.

‘No, more like the rep thing.’

‘Huh? Where did _this_ come from?’ Sehun frowns, not understanding the context. He swirls around on the chair to face the other. Junmyeon takes a seat at the bed standing behind him.

‘I had my doubts whether I should take this up, to be honest. Sure, it’s free lodging but sometimes I feel that I don’t… inspire the kind of authority that this positions requires. I want to be a cool senior to the kids around here.’

‘I think you’re cool,’ Sehun confirms. ‘Just don’t ever call me a kid again.’ He playfully frowns and Junmyeon laughs again. ‘We’re only three years apart.’

‘You’re right.’

‘I think you’re being too hard on yourself, though. Nobody expects you to be the adult around here, you know. If some ignore you, just let it be. If they need something, they’ll come. Otherwise you don’t need to chase after them all the time.’

‘You’re right,’ Junmyeon repeats again, sighing. He still doesn’t seem too pleased with himself so to lighten up the atmosphere, Sehun says the first thing that comes to his mind, which unfortunately is,

‘In the meantime, if you ever need help undressing again you can call me.’

After which he immediately wishes that the Earth could swallow him whole. Junmyeon’s mouth falls open at the words, probably completely bewildered.

‘I-I mean…’ Sehun stammers, looking everywhere but at the older student. ‘That came out wrong.’

‘I’m-‘ Junmyeon tilts his head, lost for words.

‘Forget I said that, the sight of your abs must have damaged my brain-‘ Sehun’s hand flies up to his mouth before he can say something even worse. He’s digging himself an even deeper hole now, he just knows it.

Junmyeon lets out an airy chuckle, his eyes wide.

‘Oh my god, now _I’m_ the one embarrassed. Please, don’t mind me, I don’t know what I’m saying-‘

‘Sehun, it’s okay.’ Junmyeon reassures him, putting his hand on top of Sehun’s knee. ‘I’m… flattered, I guess. I’ll take it as a compliment.’

‘Anytime… No, wait! Not _anytime_. No more of this.’ Sehun quickly says, still mortified. Junmyeon laughs, now seriously amused.

Sehun finally meets Kyungsoo Do the following week during lunch. Sehun and Baekhyun leave their Environmental Design lecture on Wednesday morning – which Sehun already knows will be the cause of many future headaches this semester – and walk back to Portland building, hoping to still find a seat as it is barely after 11.

Jongin has texted him that he’d be waiting there, and that Kyungsoo would join them. Sehun invited Baekhyun in turn.

Kyungsoo seems like a cool enough dude, a little particular perhaps in the way that he carries himself, but the most amusing thing about him is actually the way that Jongin tries but can’t stop fawning over him.

Once they’ve purchased their lunch options, Sehun takes a seat opposite his boyfriend while Baekhyun occupies the remaining one across from Kyungsoo. They’re introduced and chat for a while, though Kyungsoo doesn’t seem to be the talkative type. He’s a second year, studying History. According to Jongin who keeps providing additional extensive commentary to every two words his new friend utters, he’s also a great actor, an even better singer and has the best taste in literature.

Sehun can’t help but feel amused at Jongin’s enthusiasm. Kyungsoo just sits there, turning a shade redder with every new praise, probably unused to such excessive attention.

‘So what did you think of him?’ Jongin asks coolly as he and Sehun walk together to Sehun’s Hall but it’s clear that the answer matters to him. His boyfriend indulges him.

‘He’s really nice. Pretty quiet though, or so I thought?’ He shrugs. Jongin frowns.

‘Yeah, I’m not sure what’s up with that. Maybe he was just shy… But he’s usually really chatty.’

‘I’m sure he is,’ Sehun agrees, his mind admittedly not on Kyungsoo Do anymore. 

‘He’s… I don’t know. We clicked immediately, we’re very similar. I guess he’s like an older brother.’

‘Older brother? He’s barely a year older and looks half your size, too,’ Sehun jokes, noting with confusion that Jongin actually blushes. His boyfriend clears his throat.

‘Yeah, well. Either way, he’s really cool.’ As much as Jongin seemed eager to continue the topic, he is now looking for a way out of it. ‘What’s your plan for the afternoon?’

‘I think I need to start organising myself a little. Print out some readings for next week’s History of Architecture, probably, and I was also thinking of going into town. I need some materials for my Design workshop on Monday. Wanna go together?’

‘I wish I could.’ Jongin winces, looking apologetic. ‘I have a two hour Lab intro at three. It’s only Wednesday but I feel like this week’s lasted a year already.’ Sehun laughs.

‘You poor baby.’

The two of them keep teasing each other until they arrive at Florence Boot Hall, where they run into Junmyeon Kim. He’s also on his way back, walking alone from the other side of the park where the main library is located.

Junmyeon smiles at Sehun and a little less surely, but still kindly at Jongin. Sehun doesn’t know why but he lets go of his boyfriend’s hand then.

‘We’ve just had lunch,’ Sehun explains, hoping it sounds casual. _Bloody hell, why is he being awkward out of a sudden?_

The rep nods in understanding.

‘I’ve been cooped up in the library since morning. I have a lot of reading to do for one of my modules but I need a break.’

‘Why don’t you ask Junmyeon to accompany you to the city?’ Jongin suggests, failing to realise that being around the senior is the last thing that Sehun wants to do right now. It’s not the best idea to expose yourself to the constant temptation of ogling Junmyeon, now that Sehun’s become so painfully aware of how attractive he really is.

He keeps telling himself that looks are just looks, but it just won’t go away. Probably because Junmyeon’s personality is even more appealing.

‘Oh, I think he has better things to do with his day than looking for sharp pencils…’ Sehun shakes his head, trying to dismiss the idea.

‘Do you need help?’ Junmyeon asks and Sehun knows that people asking for help are the older boy’s weakness.

‘Not really… I was just wondering where to find a good shop with art supplies, that’s all. It’s not very urgent-‘

‘I know one, I can take you,’ Junmyeon readily agrees. The signature gentle smile is back on his face. Sehun can’t help but reciprocate. ‘Don’t worry, like I said – I also need a break. There’s only so much thinking I can do in one day.’

‘Perfect,’ Jongin interrupts the exchange, reminding Sehun that he’s actually _still there_. ‘I’ll leave you guys to enjoy your afternoon but it’s almost one and I still need to chase down that one book for tomorrow morning. They said they’d have it in the bookshop by now.’

‘Yeah, alright. I’ll text you later,’ Sehun says and Jongin just nods.

‘Sure thing.’ He briefly grabs Sehun’s hand only to squeeze it in good bye. He waves at Junmyeon and Junmyeon waves back.

‘I need to leave these in my room first, though,’ Junmyeon explains as they take the lift, pointing to his books.

‘No worries, I also want to change. I’ll see you downstairs in fifteen minutes?’

They take the bus from campus – a walk would perhaps be nicer but also lengthier and they don’t feel like wasting time. Y7 stops by and they get on, finding two seats towards the end of the vehicle.

‘So… have you and Jongin been together long?’

Sehun looks away from the window and at Junmyeon but Junmyeon’s not looking at him. The other boy’s fumbling with his backpack, checking if he’s brought everything he needs.

‘About three years.’

‘Oh.’ Just when Sehun thinks that nothing else will be said, Junmyeon adds. ‘That’s a long time. You must have been young when you got together.’

That’s yet another time in the last week when somebody has virtually referred to the two of them as _childhood sweethearts_. Sehun doesn’t know why but the term settles ill with him. Sure, they’ve been a couple for a few years and friends even longer, but there’s just something about their relationship that just doesn’t feel like…

Love.

Sehun’s eyes widen in surprise at his own line of thinking.

‘I-‘ He doesn’t know what to say.

‘Sorry,’ Junmyeon apologises hastily, taking the silence as discomfort. ‘I didn’t mean to pry. I just realised I don’t know that much about you two. I’ve only met Jongin twice before.’

‘No, it’s not that. I just…’ _I just realised that I might not love my boyfriend the way other people love their boyfriends._ He looks at Junmyeon who is biting his lip now, thinking he’s said too much. _And that, on the other hand, I feel horribly attracted to a person I met less than two weeks ago._ ‘I was just thinking about the things I need to buy,’ Sehun ends lamely.

Junmyeon smiles, determined to overcome the awkwardness.

‘There’s a Shawe’s on Mansfield Road. One of my friends was doing art at our uni, I’d sometimes go help carry things if they got particularly heavy. Hopefully you’ll find everything you need there but if not, there are still other options.’

The shop is well stocked and Sehun gets lost in the drawing supplies section. To his credit, Junmyeon has infinite patience, even when Sehun ends up backing out of the queue to the counter twice because he’s changed his mind. But he’s eventually carrying two eco bags full of supplies as well as a new tube for his bigger projects on his shoulder, which Junmyeon offers to help with.

Additionally, Sehun couldn’t help himself and picked out a few things he didn’t necessarily need for school but he knew he can use for his own art that he sometimes does when he feels particularly inspired. Admittedly, the surges of inspiration are completely disproportional to the amount of supplies he’s stored for it but he has never been able to indifferently walk by new stationary.

Junmyeon notices the purchases.

‘Do you draw a lot outside of class?’

‘You mean, like actual art?’

‘Yeah.’

Sehun puts down his load and sits down at one of the window tables in the coffee shop they’d picked for dessert. _I should be buying you food for your help_ , he protests but Junmyeon dismisses his complaints and places an order for two pieces of cake and coffee.

‘When I’m in the mood, yes. I like dabbling with coil but it gets really messy. At home I sometimes go to the garage, my parents don’t mind this way.’

‘What else?’

‘Pencil, mostly. Sketches. I don’t know, I guess I’m alright. I mean, the entrance exam for this degree was difficult but it helps that I have a good spatial orientation. Visualisations come easy to me.’

‘Do you draw people?’

‘Sometimes.’

Talking to Junmyeon is easy, too easy. By the time Sehun checks the time, it’s almost five o’clock. He’s learnt so much more about the older, though. About his passion for bones and dinosaurs, how difficult his BHons in archaeology was, that he has an older brother who still likes to treat Junmyeon like he’s 14 years old. He likes his coffee black but has a terribly sweet tooth. He almost chose astronomy because of his love for Star Wars.

In turn, Sehun tells him about his own older brother and their common passion for swimming, about his last birthday which he spent in Disneyland even though Jongin laughed at him the whole time and that he actually prefers savoury to sweet. He also has no clue what Star Wars films are actually about but Junmyeon is already making plans to have him over for a film marathon.

They’ve known each other for a really short time but everything about Junmyeon feels comfortable and familiar, yet exciting and fresh. Sehun feels constantly on his toes, but pleasantly so.

 _It feels like a date_ , crosses Sehun’s mind and he freezes _. Like a date he’s never once had with Jongin, actually._

Suddenly uncomfortable, he reaches for his phone, checking whether he has any new messages. He doesn’t but he still says,

‘We should be getting back. I’m still meeting Jongin later on.’

‘Oh! Of course. I completely lost track of time,’ Junmyeon laughs but Sehun can tell that it’s completely forced. The younger knows that his comment has just made everything, including the stares he has been giving Junmyeon, awkward and probably also inappropriate but he feels guilty. He feels guilty about how easily he is able to forget about Jongin when he’s with Junmyeon. He feels guilty because he knows that if not for Jongin, he’d definitely try to hold Junmyeon’s hand on the way back.

The fact that he still wants to, despite already having a boyfriend, is highly alarming.

Sehun’s had his fair share of sex dreams, especially in early puberty and when his relationship with his boyfriend was still relatively new. This time Sehun was on top of somebody, thrusting in a deep and – judging from the steady high pitched moans of his partner – rather precise manner. Sehun was out of breath, exhausted even, feeling like he was moving exclusively on muscle memory. There were fingers digging into his shoulders and back; it should have been painful but Sehun could barely feel anything apart from the tightness and warmth around his cock.

It went on for a while, or at least that was Sehun’s impression but it is generally difficult to measure time in dreams. He felt euphoria and sweat dripping down his lower back. He felt hot breath on his neck as the arms around him tightened and eventually, whoever he was doing ended up coming in between their bodies. Sehun soon followed, realising as if through the fog that he hadn’t even put on a condom beforehand. It didn’t, however, seem to bother the other man who merely let out a whine at what must have felt like a hot sensation.

They lay in each other’s arm for a moment longer. Thoroughly spent, Sehun finally raised his head to smile at his partner who, rationally thinking, should have been either Jongin or someone faceless, that’d happened before as well.

But this time it was Junmyeon Kim, looking utterly fucked out and satisfied.

Sehun wakes up with a start, immediately wincing at the soiled underwear he has on. He furiously rubs his eyes, trying to get rid of the mental images that are still fresh in his mind. It can’t really be considered cheating if he can’t control his fantasies but he knows he’s guilty nonetheless. It’s not like it’s the first time to harbour similar, though less explicit, thoughts about Junmyeon and all those were done consciously.

Having changed into a clean pair of boxers, he finally reaches for his cell and checks the time. 7.35am. He doesn’t have a lecture until 10 o’clock but he doesn’t think he can fall back asleep. He calls Jongin instead, fully knowing that the latter is dead to the world so early in the morning.

His boyfriend still picks up after a few rings.

‘Sehun..?’ His voice is raspy as he breathes into the receiver. Jongin has never been a morning person. ‘What’s going on?’

‘Sorry, nothing serious,’ the other boy immediately replies, not wanting to worry the other. ‘Just… I think we need to go on a date. Let’s have a date night on Friday.’

‘…huh?’ It’s clear that Jongin still has a hard time processing any information at this point. There’s shuffling on his side and Sehun patiently waits until Jongin can rearrange himself and repeats,

‘I’m taking you out on a proper date on Friday and then we’re having sex. We haven’t had sex since we moved here.’ He doesn’t add that in actuality, they haven’t had sex for far longer. It’s not that they didn’t want to, it’s just that living at home and having nosy siblings doesn’t make for a romantic atmosphere. Which is why it’s all the more perplexing that they didn’t jump each other the first moment they found themselves alone.

Sehun thought it was the new environment, the overwhelming amount of responsibilities he had to get used to but now he isn’t so sure anymore.

‘…right, yeah. Uhm, you’re right. We haven’t gone out in a while. It could be… good for us,’ Jongin says slowly and Sehun isn’t certain whether he’s hesitant or simply still not fully awake but he’s gonna take when he can get. He needs to erase Junmyeon Kim from his brain. ‘But I can’t on Friday. You remember, right? My theatre audition…’

 _Oh_.

‘But Saturday.’ Jongin now sounds determined. ‘Let’s do a whole day. We haven’t had any real time together since we’ve come here. There’s a fair happening in town and all. It’ll be fun.’

The date _is_ fun. It manages to take Sehun’s mind off Junmyeon even though they spent the evening of last night together, watching yet another film the older picked since he is quite a movie buff. Sehun had every intention to avoid Junmyeon until the end of the week but when Junmyeon knocked on his door, he had no heart to disappoint him. Plus, Jongin was away on his audition.

Sehun and Jongin spend their day eating snacks at the fair, riding the Ferris wheel and joking around. They hold hands throughout and every now and then they stop to kiss. They eat early dinner in town and finally head back to campus. It’s fun and cheesy. It’s perfect, in fact – Sehun knows this – everything he’d think a proper date should be.

So why does it feel so… _not like them_?

They end up in Sehun’s room, making out on his bed though the boy is bent on taking in further. It’s Saturday evening and there’s nothing urgent to do. They’ve had a good day and they’re both relaxed. Sehun stocked up on lube and condoms the day before.

They lose shirts easily, kissing and caressing each other. Sehun eventually lies down on the bed, letting his boyfriend take over. Jongin’s kisses travel further down, through the torso and up until the navel. He finally pops Sehun’s button, unzipping the denims the boy has on. He starts massaging Sehun’s cock through his underwear.

It’s good, it’s pleasurable. Jongin’s hands are familiar, they know what they’re supposed to be doing to Sehun and where. Unlike any other person. _Unlike Junmyeon would_ , is what Sehun is suddenly thinking. They don’t know each other, they’d surely fumble, getting embarrassed along the way. But Sehun would eventually take his time familiarising himself with Junmyeon’s naked form, mapping out and committing to memory all the sensitive spots. His hands would be clammy at first but eventually become more daring and confident with every little moan spilling out of Junmyeon’s mouth.

That dream that Sehun had. It all comes rushing back and he immediately reddens.

It’s only after a few moments does Sehun realise that nothing is happening. He takes his eyes away from the ceiling and looks to his boyfriend, now seated back on his heels and looking at him inquisitively. His own trousers are unbuttoned, though not quite down.

‘Where are you?’ Jongin tilts his head, mostly amused.

‘Huh?’ Sehun frowns, not understanding. His boyfriend shrugs.

‘You’re in front of me but your mind is somewhere else. No wonder I can’t even get you hard – all the blood went rushing up to your cheeks.’

Sehun is positively mortified now, quickly sitting up on the bed, Indian style. His hands shoot up to his face and he indeed feels hot. He doesn’t know what to say for a few moments or how to explain himself. _He_ wanted this, he told Jongin to come to his room and get frisky. But the moment they went down to business, he zoned out thinking of another man.

‘What did you think about today?’ He asks before he thinks better of it. He needs to know if he’s the only one feeling strange.

Jongin frowns.

‘The date? It was nice, I had fun. I thought you did too.’

‘I did! It’s just that…’ He bites his lower lip, not sure how to make himself understood without making his boyfriend think he’s crazy.

‘I know that I was the one who invited you out. Maybe it’s because we hardly do things like this. We’re just not really romantic together, not conventionally so. And I can’t help but feel that… That today was…’

‘Forced?’ Jongin’s eyes light up in comprehension. Sehun hesitates before nodding. To his surprise, Jongin chuckles, looking equally embarrassed. It’s not easy for a nineteen year old to just talk about his feelings. ’I’m not gonna lie, I was being a little over the top today. I thought that you wanted it. Maybe that we needed it.’

 _We wouldn’t need it if I weren’t thinking about Junmyeon all the time_ , Sehun winces _. I wouldn’t feel so insecure about myself and Jongin_.

‘Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I wanted to make us fit into some kind of relationship stereotype which we’re fine without.’

‘It’s not bad to have a romantic date every once in a while.’ Jongin shrugs. ‘I like that you care about us. I also care about us,’ he adds quickly. ‘A lot has happened in the last few weeks but we’ve been together for three years. Maybe we’ve just a little overwhelmed right now. New places… new people,’ he murmurs. ‘But I’m here for you. Only for you.’

Sehun nods. Jongin is right. Sehun’s made a new friend, who just happens to be attractive. So what, He’s not an animal, he can control himself. He’ll just have to try harder to make sure that Jongin is his priority.

Jongin sighs, settling himself next to Sehun and against the headboard.

‘I think the mood’s gone,’ he admits and Sehun actually laughs briefly.

‘Sorry ‘bout that.’

‘It’s alright. We have all the time in the world to have kinky sex.’ This time they both laugh.

‘Put some movie on, I’ll just use the loo real quick,’ Sehun says, jumping off the bed. He feels a little bit better.

There’s a knock on the front door nearly as soon as Sehun enters the toilet but he lets Jongin deal with that. The conversation with whoever came is brief and the door is promptly closed.

‘Junmyeon stopped by.’ Sehun freezes at the words. Jongin’s standing at the desk, slightly bent and one hand on the surface while he browses through Netflix with another. He’s still shirtless, his hair sticking in all directions. ‘He’s brought you this DVD. He said you didn’t get to finish last night.’ He then looks at his boyfriend. ‘Didn’t know you guys watched a movie together?’

Sehun forces himself to shrug casually.

‘We sometimes do. Usually when the evening is boring. He has good taste in films.’ His voice comes out weak but Jongin doesn’t seem to pay too much attention to it, already picking up the laptop and settling it on the bed.

‘Cool. Now where’s your stash of junk food? I know you always keep lots.’

Sehun doesn’t see Junmyeon until the following Thursday and he doesn’t know whether or not he should be happy about it. He should rejoice in being spared the temptation of the other boy’s company but deep down he misses it. He misses the full cheeks that come with happy smiles, he misses Junmyeon giggling to himself at his own jokes, but also his advice and encouragement because it’s only the third teaching week but Sehun’s probably already had a few serious meltdowns at the amount of work assigned.

Junmyeon’s presence is calming, Sehun has just now realised.

He’s almost forgotten about the Board Game Society he’s become an accidental member of if not for the email newsletter he receives on Thursday morning and Yixing’s words during lunch. Sehun doesn’t care for social life, not really, but he tells himself that with all the time that Jongin now spends in rehearsals, it’s not a bad idea to meet more people.

Deep down he knows that he wants to see Junmyeon again. It’s not difficult to connect the dots. Junmyeon is probably avoiding Sehun because of what he saw that evening. Which was Jongin shirtless and looking all sexed up. It shouldn’t bother Sehun though, why would it. Unless he feels guilty towards Junmyeon as well.

He does.

He still goes to the first Soc meeting later that night. Junmyeon’s not in the Hall canteen for dinner so Sehun has no choice but to wrap it up and walk to Trent building himself. They have a room booked for the activities and when he arrives, there’s a few people already there arranging the tables, Junmyeon included.

They look at each other for a few tense seconds but it goes away as soon as Junmyeon smiles. It’s a sincere smile, he’s happy to see Sehun and Sehun can’t help but grin back. Nothing’s out of ordinary. At least it looks so.

He’s introduced to the other three girls and one boy in the room, and soon Yixing and a few more students join them. They’re fourteen people in total tonight but it’s enough for now.

‘I haven’t seen you this week,’ Sehun says as he sits down next to Junmyeon. He has no idea what the game is but he doesn’t care that much. Other members are also setting down, still talking among themselves and deciding which game they want to join.

‘Actually, I was away for two nights. I had to conduct some interviews in one of the museums in London – you know, for my thesis. I only came back last night.’

‘Oh.’ Now Sehun feels like a fool for ever thinking himself so important that Junmyeon would try to avoid him. He probably forgot about seeing Jongin in Sehun’s room as soon as he left. At best, the sight might have made him uncomfortable, the way seeing shirtless strangers would. ‘You didn’t tell me.’

‘I didn’t see you during the weekend. You could have texted me too, you know. You have my number,’ Junmyeon’s words feel a little accusatory but Sehun nods.

‘You’re right, I could have. I didn’t want to reach out in case you… I thought maybe you…’

‘I what?’ Junmyeon tilts his head, looking at him intently and Sehun gives up, not wanting to make it awkward.

‘Nothing. I’m just being stupid.’ Sehun smiles wryly and Junmyeon laughs, absent-mindedly putting his hand on Sehun’s knee and kneading it. He’s done it before, it’s nothing unusual for him. Sehun has learnt early on that Junmyeon is very affectionate with those he considers close.

It makes Sehun feel simultaneously flattered and guilty.

The games are more fun than Sehun cares to admit. His confusion doesn’t last long, on the contrary – he gets a hang of it real fast and more importantly, the spirit of competition fuels his determination. Junmyeon and another one of his friends, Irene, are ridiculously competitive, not shying away from loud taunting and friendly but still tense calling everyone out in order to intimidate them. They play two rounds on Sequence Game, then welcome new members for Clue. Encouraged by Junmyeon, Sehun wanders off to another table to play Pandemic, which leaves him and another boy Johnny in a seriously menacing staring contest for a long time. Another person altogether eventually wins the round but Sehun and Johnny start laughing, quickly exchanging a handshake and easy conversation which lasts pretty much until the end of the meeting.

When Sehun looks up, eyes unconsciously searching for Junmyeon, he finds that the boy’s attention is already on him. He looks away as soon as he’s caught but Sehun’s already noticed and unreasonably, it makes his feel good.

It’s almost eleven when they close up and start walking towards their Hall. There are one or two other members who live there too and initially ask them to wait but then end up going ahead anyway so it’s just Sehun and Junmyeon on the short way back. The younger student helps carry some of the board games which are in the possession of the Soc. Despite the hour and it being a weekday, there are quite a few people still out, probably on their way back from activities or if they’re unlucky, from the library.

It’s when they pass by Cripps that Sehun notices Jongin at the front door, though he’s not alone. He’s laughing hard, still listening to his friend attentively before wrapping his right arm around the somewhat narrow shoulders and leading them away from the Hall and further behind where more student residences are located.

Sehun cannot know for sure but if he were to guess, he’d say that the friend was Kyungsoo Do.

Sehun doesn’t even realise that he’s stopped in his tracks, looking after his boyfriend intently. When he turns back to Junmyeon, he notices that his older friend has also recognised Jongin. When their eyes meet, Junmyeon quickly averts his eyes, embarrassed by the situation which he clearly has no place in.

‘Was that- Was that Jongin?’ He asks weakly and Sehun forces himself to shrug, mostly confused.

‘He had his theatre rehearsal today. He probably wanted to walk his friend to their Halls? I’ll call him later, I don’t feel like shouting.’

They walk back mostly in silence. Junmyeon still looks uneasy and Sehun tries to make sense of himself, Jongin, Junmyeon… and maybe other people, too. According to a string of Hallmark movies he indulged in last summer out of boredom, he should be mad jealous right now because Jongin’s posture screamed friendly in all the wrong ways. However, he is mostly confused. He doesn’t know why he shouldn’t be satisfied with what he already has but he’s also beginning to realise that he just isn’t.

‘You know… If you ever need somebody to talk, you can come to me,’ Junmyeon says out of the blue when they finally set the games on top of desk.

‘Uhm, yeah. I know, cheers,’ Sehun replies, a little confused at the random comment.

‘Even if it’s… private. If you’re unhappy. We haven’t been friends for very long but I like to think that we get along well so… You can come to me. Even if it’s about your boyfriend.’ Junmyeon looks away at the last words.

Sehun’s eyes light up in comprehension.

‘It’s… It’s not really like that.’ Sehun sighs. It sounds heavier than he expected. ‘It’s just a confusing time, for both of us. I feel that life was just simpler when Jongin and I were still in Liverpool. We didn’t really have to try that hard, being together was easy, uncomplicated. Every day the same people, the same routine. Later on, I think we were both so occupied with the thoughts of moving school and living on our own that we never really stopped to think what all this meant for our relationship. New school is not just buildings and modules but different schedules, different interests… New people.’

Sehun looks up from his hands, no longer able to ignore the boy in front of him. Junmyeon’s expression is unreadable. He eventually lets out a small sighs, stepping forward and putting his hand on Sehun’s shoulder.

‘I think it might just be the novelty. It’s natural that Jongin’s expanding his social circle. You know those theatre types… He’ll come around,’ Junmyeon assures him quietly, his fingers unconsciously digging into Sehun’s tense shoulder muscles. ‘The transition can be hard sometimes, even if we don’t initially expect it to be.’

‘The problem is… It’s not just Jongin who’s meeting new people,’ Sehun slowly replies, still looking into Junmyeon’s eyes. Junmyeon’s hand on his arm momentarily stops moving, blush making its way to his cheeks too fast and too surely not to give away his understanding of the situation.

Although it’s Sehun who has uttered these words, he’s actually not prepared to explore them more. He’s confused and confusion is not a good adviser. Junmyeon’s round eyes and pink lips invite more than just admiring stares but if he goes down that road, he knows that it will somehow become a burden. It’s best to remove himself from the situation before there’s still time.

‘I should go, it’s late. I still have a tutorial in the morning.’ Sehun moves away, Junmyeon’s hand slowly falling to his side again. ‘Good night.’

‘Good night,’ he hears as he closes the door behind himself.

In the next two weeks Sehun finds himself progressively busier – it is when the actual work on the module starts and he has to make sure that he stays on top of things. Readings, drawings, structural designs… The list is endless but a part of him is glad that he gets to cast those confusing matters aside for now. And nobody bothers him because they are all as equally absorbed in their studies as he is.

Despite living at the university premises, Sehun and Jongin don’t see each other as often as they initially thought they would. It shouldn’t be a big problem to spend an hour together here and there but it is. It’s either Jongin who needs to stay behind in the lab, working on the mid-term prep or Sehun who spends long hours in the workshops, trying to perfect his mid-term assignments. They try to bring each other lunch or go for a walk in the evening but there is little point simply sitting next to a person that has to concentrate on their work and evenings end up being taken up by other responsibilities, like Jongin’s theatre rehearsals. From time to time, the boy offers to skip and spend time with Sehun instead but Sehun dismisses the idea – the last thing he wants is for Jongin’s troupe to think he’s irresponsible. They are preparing for an early Christmas performance, after all.

That Friday evening Sehun stops by the university theatre building. He’s bought some drinks and snacks from Boots, just in case Jongin needs to skip dinner. He’s not planning to stay though, because he still has some more reading to do before his History of Architecture mid-term and the library should be fairly empty at this time of day. The last that anyone would want is to spend their Friday night studying.

The auditorium is empty, save for a few students setting up the props. One of them is Kyungsoo Do, with whom Sehun nearly collides as he opens the door.

‘Oh, sorry,’ he offers on reflex. Kyungsoo blinks at him a few times before saying,

‘Sehun, right?’

‘Yeah… You’re Jongin’s friend, Kyungsoo.’ The other nods. They haven’t actually met at all since the one lunch Jongin set up between them but Kyungsoo’s face is memorable. Not to mention, Jongin does refer to him a lot when with Sehun, without even realising.

Both feel awkward, not knowing what to say to each other. Kyungsoo reacts first.

‘Are you looking for Jongin? He’s at the back, helping others with the prop storage arrangement. We kinda have to do everything by ourselves around here.’ When Sehun doesn’t react, Kyungsoo adds. ‘You’re welcome to go there, I guess.’

‘I think I’m good.’ He decides after a moment. ‘It’s nothing important. I’ll just text him later.’

‘Sure,’ Kyungsoo replies quietly.

‘Cheers, see you.’

Kyungsoo Do is unnerving, Sehun decides after he’s exited the building and finally taken a deep breath. He hasn’t talked to Jongin about the other night and how he saw them walk towards what now he knows was most probably Kyungsoo’s Hall (Jongin has slipped that the second year lives in Rutland which happens to be behind Cripps) but he doesn’t really plan to. Jongin doesn’t have to report on everything he does when they’re not together and if he did not find this significant to mention, Sehun will trust that it was indeed nothing important. In all honesty, this is not even anything that particularly worries Sehun, though perhaps it should.

What actually bothers him is precisely the fact that it _doesn’t_ bother him – not that much, anyway. He should feel more jealous and try to get to the bottom of what he saw. Instead, he’s still dwelling on the fact that he’s painfully attracted to Junmyeon Kim and that his comment the other night has made their interactions akin to walking on thin ice. They’re still friendly but also awkward, never knowing how far they can go before the memory of that conversation resurfaces between them.

Junmyeon blushes, a lot. Sehun has never seen anything prettier.

Sehun walks into the main library, noting with satisfaction that the floor is almost empty. He takes the stairs down to the bottom floor. The library is situated on a slight slope which makes the basement an actual ground floor with a nice view on the fields surrounding Halls on the West side of the campus. Sehun plans to sit in his favourite corner, hidden away by the shelves but still having lots of sunlight thanks to the windows. However, somebody’s already there.

Junmyeon and his things, ranging from books to colourful markers to stray pieces of white paper, take up a vast majority of the long table but it’s not like there is anyone who would chastise him for it. Most of the student body should now be in their Halls, planning pre-game and evening out rather than their mid-term essays.

‘Mind if I sit here?’ Sehun clears his throat, sending the other a small smile.

Junmyeon looks up from furiously typing on his laptop, startled. His round eyes hidden behind big rectangular glasses widen briefly before he comprehends the situation. He grins, the happiness at seeing Sehun clearly reflected in his expression. Sehun smiles wider.

‘Of course, hi! I’ll just have to make sense of my mess somehow-‘ Junmyeon scratches his head, embarrassed. It seems that disorder is a part of Junmyeon and naturally follows him wherever he goes – Sehun has witnessed this before, usually when he visited the other’s room.

‘Don’t bother. It’s only my laptop and I, I can squeeze closer to the window.’ The table has three seats on each side, with Junmyeon occupying the chair farthest away from the window and Sehun now reaching for the one on the other side, closer to it. They end up seeing diagonally across from one another.

‘Sorry about that,’ Junmyeon smiles sheepishly, not even pretending that he’d know how to go about cleaning the mess up. ‘You haven’t come to the last Soc meeting,’ he prompts timidly after a moment, once Sehun has settled.

After the awkward exchange that night Sehun went to the next board game meeting but not the most recent one.

‘Yeah, yesterday was hell,’ Sehun admits. ‘I did tell Yixing during lunch not to expect me and I was right. By the time my group project meeting finished, it was already after 10 o’clock, the canteen was closed and all I had in my room was a bottle of yoghurt and a bag of peanuts. Yay me,’ he sneers, making Junmyeon laugh.

‘I feel you. I’m up my elbows in work right now.’

They eventually fall silent, trying to concentrate on their respective tasks. It goes so-so for Sehun. He ends up looking at Junmyeon from time to time, two times catching the other doing the same. But he does have work to do and he can’t afford to stare at his crush the whole evening so he forces himself to tune everything out.

He’s crushing on Junmyeon, _hard_. There is no point in lying to himself any longer. 

It’s nearing eight o’clock when Sehun hears a loud rumble. He initially mistakes it for his own before he realises that it’s Junmyeon squirming in his seat. Caught, the older boy reddens, smiling but he’s embarrassed.

‘Sorry, I’m a little hungry. I haven’t had lunch and now I had to miss dinner, too…’ Sehun’s eyes widen in alarm.

‘What? Why?’

‘The deadline is tomorrow nine am. I didn’t account for the time I had to spend in London doing my research and then I got caught up in my other modules. I didn’t realise how long it would take to write it all up and I have no more time to waste…’

‘Okay, that’s ridiculous.’ Sehun frowns, closing his laptop. ‘I’m positive you can’t even think anymore at this point. Let’s eat something.’

‘Sehun, I really can’t. It’d take too much time-‘

‘I have some sandwiches and juice.’ Sehun reaches for the paper bag he meant to share with Jongin before he changed his mind. ‘We can sit on the bench outside the library, finish the food and get some fresh air. All in under fifteen minutes,’ he reassures.

Junmyeon’s lips make an _o_ , trying to weigh the pros and cons of the break. He places his hand on his stomach when it rumbles again.

‘Fifteen minutes?’ He asks weakly and Sehun chuckles.

‘Fifteen minutes.’ He nods.

‘Alright. Thank you,’ Junmyeon adds.

The put on their jackets because early November evenings are on the cooler side but still pleasant enough not to feel uncomfortable outside. The share the food and drinks. Junmyeon doesn’t say anything much but keeps laughing at Sehun’s complaints about his group project members. They both feel their strength returning little by little, ridding themselves of the lethargy of the quiet space.

‘How much more do you have left?’ Sehun asks on the way back to their table.

‘Probably about fifteen hundred words to reach the limit. Maybe two, three hours.’

‘I’ll keep you company.’

‘Oh, no. You really don’t have to, that’s absurd. I’m sure you have better things to do-‘ Junmyeon immediately opposes the idea but Sehun only shrugs.

‘I can start on my other notes for next week. The alternative is just to going back to Halls and watch a film on Netflix but my movie buddy is not there so…’ Junmyeon grins at the words, his cheeks red once again.

‘If you’re sure…’

‘Yup. Finish this up and then you can wake up extra early to proof read before turning it in. Not like you’ll have the mind to spot mistakes now anyway.’

‘You’re right,’ Junmyeon concurs, stretching his hands above his head and yawning. His _Star Wars_ t-shirt rides up, exposing his belly button.

Sehun immediately looks away.

They leave the library after eleven, Sehun helping Junmyeon pack up and carry it all back. They wish each other good night once they’ve deposited the load on Junmyeon’s desk. They stare at one another perhaps a little too long before realising that Sehun should indeed go back to his own room.

He does, before he ends up pushing Junmyeon against the door and kissing him until they run out of breath.

Sehun takes a quick shower and rings Jongin but his boyfriend doesn’t pick up. He goes to sleep having sent the other a text which remains unanswered even until 5.45am the next morning when Sehun awakes to his alarm, disoriented. He then realises the reason for the early wakeup call that he has set up himself.

He grabs the denims discarded on the chair and a fresh flannel shirt out of his wardrobe before running down the stairs to Costa Coffee just outside the East gate where his Hall is located. Twenty minutes later and two coffees in hand, he knocks on Junmyeon’s door.

Junmyeon opens, blinking at him furiously. He’s up but clearly tired and disoriented. Still in a worn out t-shirt and a pair of boxers, he tries his best to flatten out his bed hair to make it look more presentable. No success.

‘What are you doing here?’ Junmyeon yawns loudly. Sehun chuckles, looking at him fondly.

‘We have three hours before your submission deadline. Time to get to work.’

‘ _We_?’ Junmyeon blinks again, stupefied.

‘Yes, _we_. You didn’t look so good last night, I thought we could go over your report together. It’s easier to spot spelling mistakes and what not that way. Coffee?’ He dangles a cup of hot Americano in front of Junmyeon’s face.

‘Did you… Did you go all the way to Costa at this hour just to bring me coffee?’ Junmyeon asks quietly, in disbelief.

Sehun shrugs, feigning indifference as he takes a seat at the desk.

‘Had nothing better to do.’ He tries his hardest not to smirk at the elated look on Junmyeon’s face. ‘Come on, the time’s running out.’

They proof-read the thirty page document twice, eventually submitting it ten minutes before the deadline. Junmyeon exhales loudly, leaning on the back of the chair tiredly.

‘You’ve missed breakfast because of me,’ he suddenly realises with regret.

‘It’s alright. I’ll survive until lunch time-‘

‘No way! Let’s go, I know a good pan cake place in Beeston. Less than fifteen minutes away on foot from here. My treat, of course.’

Sehun doesn’t argue because he’s hungry, but mostly also because he’s not about to reject spending more time with the older boy.

Blueberry pancakes are hot and coupled with soy matcha latte taste heavenly. The two spend almost two hours joking around and bickering over whose studies are harder, though neither actually means it. Sehun picks up some snacks in the supermarket on the way back, which in turn prompts Junmyeon to stop by Superdrug. They waste more time like that but Sehun doesn’t care. There’s nowhere else he’s rather be and he means it.

It’s almost two o’clock when they eventually separate, having decided to prolong their outing and grab junk food for quick lunch. Junmyeon still has some more work to do, but the fact that he looks regretful at the idea of leaving Sehun makes the younger feel inexplicably giddy. They stand at Junmyeon’s door for a few more minutes, still conversing lightly about something silly just to not have to part ways.

It really feels like the relationship they share has progressed since last night, Sehun just doesn’t know in which direction.

He has two missed calls from Jongin when he finally checks his cell. He lies down, the exhaustion only now catching up with him.

He calls Jongin still and the latter picks up after two rings.

‘Hey, I called you earlier. Thought we’d have lunch together.’

‘Sorry, I was out helping a friend.’ It’d be easy to bring up Junmyeon’s name, but for some reason he doesn’t feel like it. ‘Where were you last night, though?’

‘Ah…’ Jongin’s chuckle is awkward. ‘The rehearsal ran late and then one of the guys suggested going for a drink so…’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah, Taemin. I don’t know if I mentioned him but he’s a second year, we’re doing the same degree. We really clicked so I didn’t wanna turn him down. Some people from the theatre went out with us.’

‘Was Kyungsoo Do there?’ Sehun doesn’t know why he says that, he certainly doesn’t mean it. It just slips.

‘Uhm… yeah, Kyungsoo was there, and others too.’

‘I stopped by the theatre building yesterday, did Kyungsoo mention that to you? I ran into him at the front door.’

‘Did you? No, I didn’t hear anything.’ _Interesting._

‘It doesn’t matter. I brought some snacks, thought we might eat early dinner together but I guess you were busy with props somewhere, something like that.’

‘Oh, yeah. We had to paint a new coat over some of them. They had been left in a truly disastrous state.’

Sehun only hums, not really that interested in the inner workings of the troupe.

‘So what are you doing now?’

‘Nothing special, preparing for my Monday tutorial. Wanna come over? I just ordered a pizza.’

Sehun doesn’t want to go, not really. He’s tired and still low key floating on cloud nine from his earlier encounter with Junmyeon. He doesn’t understand himself and he doesn’t understand what is currently going on with his relationship but he still _is_ in one, therefore he will make an effort. He just now realises that he hasn’t seen Jongin at all since Wednesday.

Worse, that he didn’t particularly miss his presence.

‘Alright. I’ll just change. I’ll see you in a few.’

Two more weeks pass and it’s the morning History of Architecture lecture again but this time Sehun cannot concentrate. He spaces out most of the time, Baekhyun having to frequently elbow him to pay attention to the slides. _It’s all going to be on the exam_ , he mouths in his direction.

Sehun just sighs, picking up his pen but the enthusiasm doesn’t last long before he’s staring into space again.

‘What’s up with you today?’ Baekhyun asks as soon as the lecture is over. Everyone’s already at the door trying to get out but Sehun only sluggishly packs his bag, sighing again. ‘Seriously, has something happened?’

Sehun’s been thinking about it for a long time already and yes, he concludes that something has.

‘I love Jongin,’ he says, looking at Baekhyun. When nothing else follows, Baekhyun snickers.

‘Really? I couldn’t tell. You’ve only been together since you were born.’ Sehun winces.

‘No, I mean. I love him. I do love Jongin a lot… I just…’ He trails away but looks so troubled that Baekhyun reads the atmosphere for once. He sits down next to his friend, looking at him intently. Sehun sighs again, shaking his head. He doesn’t know if anyone can understand his anguish right now.

‘There is a _but_ , isn’t there,’ Baekhyun mutters. Sehun takes his time but eventually replies.

‘I love him, but… Something’s changed. And… and not just now. Before, way before. It’s just that we’ve been together for so long that I guess I never stopped to think about it. I never had to. He’d been my best friend and then one day we just became boyfriends. It just felt natural, I didn’t question my feelings for him or their strength. My days had usually revolved around our time together and then when he got together, my days still revolved around us. It was always the same, a routine.’

Baekhyun hums, indicating that he’s listening. The lecture hall is now empty but the two of them are still seated in the back row, talking.

‘So…?’

‘So now we’re here and it’s been like a sudden wake-up call. I used to think that we were very similar but actually, I know now that we just lived in a bubble. There was nowhere else to go, so to speak, so we just stuck together. Jongin’s a people’s person and I am proud of how he was able to blossom here, develop all his interests and meet new friends. I’ve made a few myself. But… Now that he’s out and about, and doesn’t always have time to just spend whole afternoons with me like we used to in sixth form…’

‘You don’t miss him that much,’ Baekhyun guesses and Sehun slowly nods. ‘You don’t feel particularly neglected, either.’ Another nod.

‘I still love spending time with him, we make each other laugh and we always have each other’s back. He’s always been and always will be my best friend. But I’m beginning to realise that I haven’t been treating him like my boyfriend for some time now. And I think he feels the same.’

Sehun doesn’t feel prepared for the conversation that he needs to have with Jongin but it happens anyway, only a few days after his personal realisation. It’s an impulse really. They walk back to campus after their lunch in town; the atmosphere is casual, easy. They don’t even hold hands anymore, which is something that Sehun takes notice of only later into the stroll.

‘You keep staring. Do I have something on my face?’ Jongin jokes, turning to him. The truth is, Sehun is deep in thought.

‘I’ve been meaning to tell you something,’ Sehun says instead, before he can change his mind. ‘But I’m a little sacred.’

Jongin frowns. They stop in their tracks, facing each other. They’ve entered the park on campus now and have been walking along the lake.

‘Scared?’

‘How about… How about we take a seat.’ Sehun points to the bench nearby. The day is beautiful but it’s relatively quiet, too, free of the usual afternoon crowds.

‘Why would you be scared?’ Jongin probes further as soon as they settle.

‘I’m scared that I’ll lose you,’ Sehun replies honestly, lowering his head and avoiding the other’s gaze. He focuses on his clasped hands instead. ‘But I also think that if I don’t say it now, it’ll just get harder.’

‘What are you talking about? Has something happened?’ Jongin’s frown deepens.

‘I love you, Jongin. I really do. I love you, but… I’m not _in love_ with you. Not anymore.’ _Perhaps not ever_ , he thinks but doesn’t add it. It’s still too early to understand what has actually happened in their relationship. The only thing that he’s sure of right now is the outcome.

Jongin freezes, his jaw going slack. He’s obviously been caught off guard. Sehun continues looking at him, letting him process the confession. When he doesn’t respond, Sehun continues.

‘I’ve felt it for some time now, I just never realised it. Before we even entered university, I mean. This new environment is not the reason for my change of heart, but rather just an incentive to see us in a different light. You’ve always been my brother, my best friend. I’ll always love you and need you in my life. But now, that I’ve had the opportunity to see us out here, compare to the people around us… It’s not that we have to be like others, or that the only way of being in a relationship is the romantic, cheesy kind. It’s more that…’ Sehun takes a deep breath, thinking of Junmyeon and his smiles. ‘Now I know I _want to_ be cheesy and romantic… Just not with you. I don’t see you like that anymore.’

Sehun doesn’t dare look at the other boy, nervously awaiting his reaction. Just when he thinks that he’s shocked Jongin mute, there it is. First a short, airy sound which quickly turns into a low chuckle and soon Jongin is laughing out loud. Sehun looks up then, worried that his soon to be ex-boyfriend has cracked. Jongin does indeed look like he cannot believe what he’s just heard but it’s not a menacing laugh. Instead, he looks… almost in awe.

‘Sehun Oh,’ Jongin says slowly once he’s calmed down. ‘Wow. Thank you.’

Now it’s time for Sehun to frown.

‘For what?’

‘For breaking up with me.’ Jongin grins sheepishly, looking embarrassed.

‘Jongin, are you alright?’

‘No, I’m perfect. Believe me. I’m relieved. I know it sounds horrible, but I’m- I’m relieved. You actually had the guts to do what I couldn’t bring myself to.’

_Oh._

‘So it wasn’t just me,’ Sehun says out loud. Jongin has merely confirmed his earlier suspicions.

The other boy nods slowly.

‘I don’t know when it started. But I do know that once we’ve moved here it became apparent that our relationship is not at all what we’d thought it was.’

They both sit in silence for a moment, processing the conversation.

‘I think- You came out to me and I was bi, and- And I think I just really wanted you to be _the one_ ,’ Jongin admits, chucking self-depreciatively. ‘You’ve always been the person that I was most comfortable around, the one that was always there for me. It just made sense that it would be you. And it was very good for a while, too,’ he adds.

‘But then you joined the theatre and met Kyungsoo Do,’ Sehun prompts, feeling secure enough to start teasing his best friend. _They are fine. They are going to be alright_.

Jongin opens and closes his mouth a couple of time, eventually having enough decency to blush.

‘So it was _that_ obvious, huh,’ he murmurs. ‘I really tried hard to get a hang of myself. I hope I didn’t make you feel shitty in the process. I’d hate myself for that.’

‘No, that’s the thing. On some subconscious level I think I was aware that you had a crush on him but I just… Didn’t really care.’ Sehun snickers. ‘Not the way I was supposed to as your boyfriend.’ Then he looks at Jongin. ‘Did you… You know…’

‘No!’ He denies at once, having understood the implication. ‘I would never cheat on you. I’d never do that to you.’ Then he sighs, blush darkening. ‘But I thought about it, more than once. I tried not to but I just couldn’t help myself.’ Jongin’s voice is almost inaudible. He looks resigned.

‘It’s alright. I did, too.’ Jongin looks surprised at the words. ‘You’re not the only one with a crush, you know.’

Jongin’s eyes suddenly widen and a knowing smirk makes its way to his lips.

‘Junmyeon Kim.’ It’s not even a guess, it’s a statement. Sehun doesn’t deny but he does look abashed. 

‘I guess I was the same. At first I just thought he was being kind to me since I was new, but the more time I spent with him, the more attracted I was to him. To everything about him. I tried to distance myself from his company just to avoid temptation but somehow it just never worked.’ Sehun chuckles, embarrassed. ‘It made no sense to me that I had to work so hard to stay faithful to you if our relationship was strong and fulfilling.’

Jongin puts a hand on Sehun shoulder, offering his sympathy and agreement.

‘Do you think Junmyeon likes you back?’

‘Seems so. He avoided me for a week after he saw you standing half naked in my room that time.’

‘Oh, yes, that thing. Dude, no wonder you wanted to have sex so bad.’ Jongin laughs.

‘What are you laughing about, you twat. I was doing my best to save this sinking ship,’ Sehun replies, shoving him playfully. Then he sighs. ‘But I should apologise to him. I feel like I led him on, even though I tried not to. It was great but you were always between us and I just ended up feeling disgusted with myself.’

Jongin nods. They don’t say anything for a moment before Sehun nudges the other with his shoulder.

‘So what about you and Kuyngsoo?’

‘Uhm, well. He’s asked me out. Twice,’ Jongin admits, not able to look Sehun in the eye. Sehun is caught by surprise.

‘But he knew that you had a boyfriend.’

‘I think he could tell that we behaved super casually with each other. Whereas Kyungsoo and I… uhm, we have a lot of chemistry together. So… he was very direct about how he felt whereas I’ve just behaved like a coward all this time.’

‘It’s alright,’ Sehun reassures. ‘You don’t have to have a mourning period or anything, you can just go straight away and ask him out. I won’t be offended.’

‘Are you going to? Junmyeon, I mean.’ Sehun shrugs.

‘I do want to. I just need to figure out where he and I stand first.’

They tell some of their friends at lunch the next day. Most of them look worried, questioning whether it will even be possible for the two to stay friends after they’d dated for so long but they are confident they can. They don’t go into details about it but the more observant ones in their friend circle can probably tell that it wasn’t a decision born in the spur of a moment.

For Sehun, it feels refreshing to not have to care where Jongin will go after they part and constantly remind himself that he needs to make plans for two.

He doesn’t tell Junmyeon, not immediately. He assumes that the news will probably reach the older boy sooner or later anyway, seeing how Yixing was present at the time of breaking it to everyone. He doesn’t want Junmyeon to feel that Sehun’s break up with Jongin happened because of him but that’s something they will have to talk about later anyway.

They accidentally meet three days later. It’s Wednesday again and Sehun rolls in, on his way to his room after an intense Q&A session with Baekhyun, regarding their upcoming test. Junmyeon is leaving his own room, presumably on the way down to the canteen. It’s almost time for dinner.

They look at each other, momentarily lost for words. Sehun quickly notices that Junmyeon looks uncomfortable, a prominent blush quickly making its way down his cheeks and neck. He bites his lower lip as he forces himself to not avert his eyes.

‘Hey,’ Sehun prompts in an attempt to lighten up the mood. He sends the older a small smile.

Junmyeon’s smile is a little bleaker but he reciprocates.

‘Hey,’ he replies quietly.

‘Are you gonna have dinner? Do you wanna go together? I’ll just leave my bag.’ Sehun motions at the rucksack hanging off his right shoulder. Junmyeon nods in agreement.

During the meal it’s mostly Sehun who talks, which almost never happens because he is more of a listener type while Junmyeon is chatty and gets easily excited. But still, Sehun pretends not to notice the ambiguous atmosphere between them, at least for now. He doesn’t want to discuss his private matters out in the open where everyone can hear. Especially because he thinks he sees some of their fellow Soc members seated a few tables to their left.

Junmyeon relaxes a little towards the end of the dinner, telling Sehun about the grant he’s applying for to fund his PhD next year and all the field work he’s happy to be doing with his supervisor next semester. Sehun listens – Junmyeon’s voice (and the inevitable, quiet laughter of embarrassment at his own excitement) is what he’s come to adore in the last weeks.

‘I was thinking…’ Sehun starts after a moment of gathering their belongings and trays to give back. ‘Come, have a stroll with me. It’s quite nice outside.’

Junmyeon’s eyes widen, looking almost in panic. He opens and closes his mouth, unsure what to say. Sehun just waits; he doesn’t mean to urge the other.

‘Alright,’ Junmyeon eventually responds quietly, seeming having not found a suitable excuse that he could potentially use. Sehun doesn’t know what this is about but he can just imagine. Junmyeon often gets paranoid over things that are only in his head so the younger isn’t worried. All he wants is a chance to explain.

To confess.

They meet again in front of their Hall ten minutes later. Junmyeon is wearing his thicker bomber jacket; he’s left his glasses in his room, though. Sehun leads the way to the lake, the surest place to have some ground to stroll on and peace to talk things through.

A gaggle of residential campus geese cross their path and the two stop to let them pass. It’s the first time that night Junmyeon genuinely laughs and Sehun smiles too, looking at the other boy fondly. They eventually make it to the lake shore and slow down their step, looking at anything but each other.

‘I’m sorry,’ Junmyeon says just as Sehun starts with,

‘We need to talk.’

They look at each other, each letting out an airy chuckle of amusement. Junmyeon sighs.

‘Can I speak first?’

‘How about I start, I think whatever you-‘

‘Please… Just let me.’ It’s Sehun’s turn to sigh but he nods even though he suspects that whatever it is that weighs so heavy on Junmyeon’s conscience is not worth the mental struggle. ‘I really want to apologise.’

‘You have nothing to apologise for,’ Sehun immediately replies but doesn’t say anything further as Junmyeon shakes his head vehemently.

‘I heard that you and Jongin split up and-‘ Junmyeon’s blush is obvious even despite the darkness around them. ‘I feel so guilty because I feel like I might have overstepped the boundaries of our friendship. There were times when I feel like I took too much of your time, like our Friday movie nights and you could have spent them with Jongin instead, so I thought maybe I did this, maybe he got fed up with you not being there for him because of me, or jealous-‘

‘Junmyeon.’ Sehun gently puts his hand on the other’s forearm to sooth him.

‘Maybe if I go and talk to him, then you two can still solve this-‘

‘Junmyeon.’ Sehun’s voice is more assertive now. ‘This is why you should have let me talk first. I knew you’d say something like this.’

Junmyeon puts his own hand over Sehun’s, still looking pained.

‘I just really hate the idea that I could have hurt you, even indirectly,’ he finishes, looking down.

‘You didn’t hurt me, believe me,’ Sehun reassures, smiling. He waits for Junmyeon to look up. When he does, Sehun adds, ‘And you didn’t make Jongin jealous, either. In fact, that’s the thing. Nobody was jealous over anyone.’ He starts chuckling to himself and Junmyeon frowns.

‘I don’t understand.’

‘Now it’s my turn, alright? Hear me out.’ He turns to Junmyeon properly, the other still looking up to Sehun with an unreadable expression.

Now that it’s time for the actual confession, Sehun gets bashful, even though he is pretty certain that Junmyeon feels the same way. It’s just really embarrassing to say things like that out loud.

‘I really, _really_ like you, Junmyeon. I adore the heck out of you,’ he adds and Junmyeon hiccups in surprise. ‘And yes, I broke up with Jongin _for_ you, but,’ he hastily supplies when he sees Junmyeon open his mouth, alarmed. ‘Not _because_ of you. Do you understand?’

Junmyeon freezes, eventually shaking his head.

‘Meeting you made me realise that what Jongin and I shared was not what either of us thought it was. How to say this?’ He slowly moves his hand down from Junmyeon’s forearm to squeeze his palm and the other lets him. ‘If there were ever any real romantic feelings between us, they ended a long time ago. For weeks, I’ve been crazy about you, Junmyeon. You wouldn’t leave my mind, constantly making me giddy. And I just kept feeling guilty because I didn’t want to betray Jongin’s trust but I also wondered why I even feel the way I do. And why I’d never felt anything like that for Jongin. Ever.’

Junmyeon’s eyes widen in wonder, a little smile of disbelief making its way to his lips. _His insanely soft looking, pink lips_.

‘So…’

‘So my horribly embarrassing crush on you just made me realise that Jongin and I felt more like best friends or brothers. Our feelings towards each other were actually strictly platonic. Turns out he’s felt the same for some time already if his crush on Kyungsoo Do is any indication.’

‘So that time we saw them…’ Sehun nods.

‘I wasn’t jealous. It wasn’t like that. If anything, I was perplexed as to why I _didn’t_ feel insecurity or rage. I think I just… didn’t care enough.’

Junmyeon looks at their intertwined fingers, a small smile on his lips.

‘You’re wrong when you say that nobody was jealous, though,’ the older boy says out of the blue. Sehun frowns inquisitively. ‘I was. I was jealous every time we spent time together because you’d inevitably always get a message from Jongin or somehow end up talking about him. But I still wanted to do things with you, fooling myself into believing that I was somehow special because you did all those nice things for me.’

‘You weren’t fooling yourself,’ Sehun denies. ‘You were the first friend I made here, Junmyeon. Even if I- Even if I hadn’t developed feelings for you, you’d always be one of the nicest and kindest people I’ve ever met.’

Junmyeon refuses to look at him, though, braving on as the blush spreads to his ears.

‘That time when I was running behind the deadline… I told you that it was because of my London trip but actually, it originally hadn’t been scheduled for another two weeks. I just moved it forward because I felt that I should distance myself from you for both our sakes. The weekend before I stopped by your room but it was Jongin who opened the door, shirtless… And it was like a slap to the face. That I didn’t really have a chance with you to begin with.’ He sighs.

Sehun laughs embarrassed, now blushing himself.

‘Funny that you would say that because that was the afternoon when I invited him for sex, thinking that it would somehow help me re-focus on our relationship and instead I left him hanging because all I could think about was you.’

Junmyeon’s eyes widen again, almost comically.

‘Cross my heart and hope to die.’ Junmyeon laughs at the words. ‘I didn’t tell you straight away about our breakup like I did others because I needed a moment to sort out my head. I was trying to avoid this exact situation, making you feel like you were the reason why it fell apart. Admittedly, it’s only been three days since I broke up with him but believe me, it feels much longer. Jongin and I helped each other through the confusion that were sixth form and forming our sexual identities, but it was nothing like what I feel now.’

‘So… you and I?’ Junmyeon smiles and Sehun nods vigorously, just as bashful.

‘Please, go out with me. I’m really crazy about you. I think… You and I just fit together, you know? We like many of the same things, but we also balance each other well.’

‘Of course I want to go out with you,’ Junmyeon grins back, his cheeks rounding in happiness. ‘I just… I did not expect this when you asked me to come out here. I didn’t want to let myself believe that you’d like me back because that’d mean coming between you and Jongin. I guess I didn’t realise how you really felt about him.’

‘Go out with me,’ Sehun merely repeats, this time quieter, still in wonder that he’s actually had the guts to confess so directly. Junmyeon nods again.

They stand like this for a few moments, hands still clasped together. Sehun feels his own palm sweat in nerves. Somebody needs to take the final step because the tension between them is unbearable at this point.

‘Can I kiss you? Or is it too fa-‘ Junmyeon’s shy question is interrupted by Sehun’s lips on his. Junmyeon sighs into the kiss. They’re both unable to lean into it for too long because they keep giggling every few seconds, their embarrassment (their happiness) impossible to hide.

Eventually, they deepen the kiss and Sehun’s arms wind up around Junmyeon’s lithe waist. They don’t go back to their Hall until much, much later that night.

_Four months later_

‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…’

The voice is sweet but Sehun is barely conscious so at first he cannot really register its source. After a moment of impossible struggle, he decides to ignore it altogether.

‘Sehun…’ The voice is still sweet but now more insistent. ‘Sehun, I know you’re not sleeping. Come on, I’ve brought you cake.’

Sehun opens his eyes, barely. Junmyeon is there, holding a small tray with the cream cake Sehun once said he’d want for his anniversary. It’s tempting to get up and have some but one look at the electronic alarm clock on his bed stand tells Sehun it’s only 6.30 am so he’s ready to close his eyes again.

‘Come on, I wanted to celebrate with you before I leave…’ Junmyeon puts away the gift, moving closer when there is no reaction. ‘Don’t you want to have birthday sex?’ Finally, Junmyeon asks bluntly, quickly becoming completely red in the face. Sehun deliberately closes his eyes again, seemingly ready to turn to the other side.

‘No,’ he replies just as quickly. Junmyeon must be aware of the teasing note in his boyfriend’s tone but still bites, pouting unhappily.

‘But I do, I want to, Sehun… I wanna do it…’ Junmyeon pleads one last time but Sehun pretends not to hear him.

‘It’s my birthday, though? Wait for yours with all those demands-’ He peeks from under the cover but the other’s had enough of his shit because he ends up pouncing on the covered body, thighs on each of Sehun’s side. Sehun’s hands unconsciously travel up the expanse of Junmyeon’s legs, resting close to his hips.

‘My train is in three hours and we’re not going to see each other for the next month or so. I want my sex, and I want it now.’ The older boy is still blushing profusely but he is also resolved to get what he wants. His voice drops a little with the urgent words whispered into Sehun’s ear, making them sound hoarse and simultaneously shooting straight to the younger’s groin.

Sehun grips Junmyeon’s waist tighter, finally surrendering to the changing mood and readjusting his boyfriend on his lap so he himself can lean forward, sitting up with a little difficulty. Their lips meet half way through, moving somewhat urgently. Sehun winces when Junmyeon enthusiastically grinds on him but the discomfort lasts only a second – the older boy props himself up on his shins, readily pulling down his sleepwear which is coincidentally the only thing covering him up below the waist. His reddened cock is semi hard and already beading at the tip, the moisture slowly sipping out.

Suddenly it’s Sehun who’s becoming terribly aroused.

‘Happy birthday to me, indeed,’ Sehun mumbles lowly but not without a grin sent towards his boyfriend. Junmyeon blushes even more than it’s humanly possible, weakly pushing at the other’s shoulder but it is more embarrassment than displeasure.

‘You’re an idiot,’ he settles for meaningless banter while sitting back down and removing his t-shirt as well. Sehun’s arm immediately settles around Junmyeon’s lower back, his lips kissing Junmyeon’s neck and moving lower, to his left nipple. He starts sucking, with not real intention of holding back.

Junmyeon groans deep in his throat as he digs his front teeth into his lower lip – they are still in the Hall, after all. There is lust in his eyes, and a little bit of helplessness too because it has been a little over four months since they got together but they have already played this game one too many times. Sehun is way too good at riling Junmyeon up in bed, even when it is his boyfriend who’d initiate the tryst.

‘How do you want it?’ Sehun mumbles, moving to give attention to the other nub.

‘I want you,’ Junmyeon rasps, moans bubbling in his throat again.

‘You sure you’ll be able to sit through that train ride of yours later on?’ Sehun can’t help but say and the comments earns him another light shove on the arm and a huff. Sehun’s eyes still reflect his amusement when they look at each other.

‘You’re flattering yourself, you’re _not_ that big,’ Junmyeon dismisses but there is another wave of blush making its way up his cheeks.

There is nothing prettier than Junmyeon Kim being flustered, though Sehun Oh might be a little bit biased.

‘That’s not what you said the other night.’ Sehun makes a face at him. Junmyeon just shuts him up with another kiss.

‘Just undress and find a condom already. Why am I the only one naked?’ He grumbles, temporarily getting off Sehun’s lap to make it easier for the other to lose his trousers and the old t-shirt with a Mickey Mouse on it.

Junmyeon opens the bed stand’s drawer, quickly locating what he is looking for.

‘Are you gonna-‘ He doesn’t wait for Sehun to end his sentence as he unceremoniously puts two lubed fingers into his hole. ‘Don’t go too fast…’ Sehun frowns worriedly.

Junmyeon hums in agreement, quickly readjusting himself on the bed. He knows that he should probably leave the prep to Sehun – it’s not like Junmyeon’s own fingers are any match for Sehun’s girth, despite the teasing – but he’s impatient and it hasn’t been that long since they were intimate so he thinks that he can handle it.

Sehun beacons him closer, his arms around Junmyeon forcing the latter to move forward on his shins again, until he’s rested on Sehun’s lap. Sehun doesn’t waste any time kissing him, letting his tongue probe further into the hot cavern of Junmyeon’s mouth. Drunk on the feeling, the older boy lets his fingers slip out, instead putting both his arms around Sehun’s shoulders, anchoring himself.

But Sehun doesn’t lose a grip on the situation, his right hand quickly slipping down Junmyeon’s arse, momentarily squeezing the supple flesh before making its way down and replacing Junmyeon’s finger in the wet crevice. He closes his eyes, moaning into Sehun’s mouth at the feeling of two, and then three fingers entering him. It’s becoming uncomfortable, too, his hard cock left alone for too long.

‘Enough… Enough, just put it in,’ he pants, trying not to look too abashed by the situation.

Sehun complies. He quickly puts on the rubber, giving himself a light squeeze before applying more lube onto it. He then moves into a half lying position and reaching for his own erection, he holds it at the base. When Junmyeon frowns slightly, Sehun shrugs.

‘Unless you don’t want to, but it’s really good. Deeper that way,’ he adds, grasping at Junmyeon’s hips and guiding him down on his own cock. It’s not that Junmyeon doesn’t want to but so far their physical relationship has not been the most adventurous one, both content with exploring their bodies and leaving the experimenting with other positions for later.

The _later_ is apparently now.

The tip slides in without any problem but despite the torturous slow pace with which he’s going, Junmyeon soon finds that he feels too hot and too full already. He moans, stopping half way through. He feels that he might just fall apart if he keeps going. He steadies himself with his palms on Sehun’s chest, somehow unable to look at him for too long.

‘I can’t… God, I-‘ He takes a few deep breaths.

‘Can I help you? Sehun probes and Junmyeon only nods as Sehun sit up a little more, one arm on Junmyeon’s waist and another behind himself to keep the balance. He lifts up, cautious not to thrust too rushly. It’s of no use, though; Junmyeon still quivers, sweat gathering at his hair line.

By the time Sehun is balls deep, both are wrecked – Junmyeon at the size and his boyfriend at having to restrain himself.

‘Alright?’ Sehun asks quietly, suddenly not sure whether it was a good idea. He lightly messages the older boy’s waist in encouragement. Junmyeon only nods. ‘Relax.’

Junmyeon eventually starts bouncing, mostly due to the force applied by Sehun’s hips. Both start moaning uncontrollably and Junmyeon knows that he’s too turned on to last long. Not that he cares either way, it wasn’t supposed to be a drawn out affair in the first place. He squeezes his eyes shut when Sehun’s relentless thrusts up eventually cause his cock to brush against Junmyeon’s prostate.

Junmyeon’s thigh muscles tire of the movements and he falls deeper into Sehun’s arms, too sore to do more than just let the other fuck up into him. He doesn’t need more when Sehun closes his hand around his dick, rubbing the crown and moving the hand up and down to coax Junmyeon’s orgasm out of him. Junmyeon is willing – he comes seconds later all over their stomachs. The explosion is still sudden and makes Junmyeon tighten around Sehun. He sees white behind his eyelids.

It doesn’t take more than a few _so good_ and _so big_ right into Sehun’s ear for him to halt his movements, still deep in Junmyeon and shudder with the force of his own release.

Boneless, they finally fall into bed together, Sehun slipping out of the moist hole and with the last of his strength, reaching for some tissues to take care of the immediate mess of Junmyeon’s fluids. He then carefully ties the condom and disposes of it.

‘Hey, hey… Don’t you fall asleep again. You have a train to catch soon, remember?’ Sehun teases him lightly, starting to massage Junmyeon’s buttocks when the other does nothing but continue lying on his stomach, eyes closed.

Junmyeon only hums tiredly, wincing a little as he opens his eyes again.

‘Why did you let me take all that up my arse?’ He complains weakly, to which Sehun can only chuckle and he lies down next to his boyfriend, his laughter turning into a deep yawn. It’s not even seven o’clock yet.

‘Was it bad?’

‘...no,’ Junmyeon mumbles into the pillow and Sehun only giggles again. On the contrary, it was probably some of the best sex they’ve had so far.

While Junmyeon would prefer to just lazy around in bed until noon, damned be his train ticket, he knows that his family is expecting him for lunch with his brother’s future in-laws. He sits up with difficulty, moving slowly. Surprisingly, Sehun gets up as well.

‘I’ll take you to the train station,’ he decides. Junmyeon shakes his head, dismissive.

‘No need.’

‘I want to,’ Sehun replies, looking around for his things. He stops by the abandoned birthday cake, dipping his finder finger in the cream and licking at it. He hums in approval at the flavour. ‘I’ll take a quick shower and meet you in your room.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘It’s not even that far away,’ Sehun only smiles and leans down to peck Junmyeon’s lips, who is still seated on the bed. ‘Do you need help getting to your room?’

‘No. Come when you’re ready, then. I need to finish packing some things.’

They reach the train station twenty minutes before the train is due. They pick up Junmyeon’s ticket and wait on the platform, hidden away from the wind.

‘I didn’t want to tell you before I settle it at home but… I don’t wanna leave you here without your birthday gift.’ Junmyeon smiles sweetly, looking up at Sehun. The moment they assumed their position, Sehun enveloped him in a hug, letting Junmyeon rest on his shoulder.

‘Wasn’t sex my birthday gift?’ Sehun laughs and Junmyeon shoves at his shoulder but without any real strength.

‘As if.’ Then he becomes a little more serious. ‘I… I’ll tell my parents about you after I get home.’ Sehun loosens his embrace to peer at Junmyeon’s face. He’s embarrassed, his cheeks shining even more than usual. ‘They know that I’m- I’m bi but it’s gonna be the first time I have a serious boyfriend so I think it’s time they learn about you.’

‘Are you sure? I don’t mind if you need more time-‘

‘No. I’ll tell them and then I’d love it if you could come towards the end of the break to meet them. What do you say?’

‘I’m- Of course. I’d be happy to. If you want me to.’

‘I do. Don’t worry, they’ll love you. There won’t be any drama.’ Junmyeon smiles and they share a quick kiss. They don’t linger – the train approaches the platform.

‘I’ll call you when I arrive,’ Junmyeon assures, waving one last time rushing to enter with his suitcase. Sehun stays until the train disappears and then slowly makes his way back to the bus stop.

 _Meeting the parents, huh?_ He smiles to himself. He can do that.


End file.
